Mammon Idol at Cedar Creek Church

Has your church ever done a song during an official Sunday worship service that helps direct your heart toward the love of money? Cedar Creek Church directed the hearts of their flock toward money by singing Billionaire by Bruno Mars.

The lyrics are very narcissistic. “See my name in shining lights.”

“I wanna be a billionaire so freakin’ bad.”

The job of a shepherd is to direct the heart toward the love of God, not the love of money. This song does more to tickle and provoke the love of money, than to stir the heart toward the love of God.

Holy Ghost Wiener Roast – New Life Church

New Life Church invites you to a Holy Ghost Wiener Roast.

There is no need for further commentary.

“Prophetic” Mystery Meat – Shawn Bolz Needs a Lifeline

Prophets don’t usually need help from their audience, that is unless you’re Shawn Bolz. He began a recent “prophecy” by saying. . .

“Let’s try this out.”
“Sometimes my words land really strongly.”
“It’s like a game show, I need your help.”

When your prophet prefaces his prophecy with words that make it sound like a science experiment, and he calls on you for help, and is basically using you as a lifeline, chances are, your prophet is not a real prophet.

This prophecy is like a hamburger you’d get at a fast food establishment. It clearly has some filler, and is not the pure word of God. He mixes it with his own sense of uncertainty, audience participation, and random guessing. He’s serving up prophetic mystery meat.

God’s real prophets did not need lifelines. They didn’t act like it was a science experiment. God gave them the direct word and they spoke it.

We don’t need a diet of prophetic mystery meat when God’s word to us is in the Bible already.

The Swiss Army Knife Anointing – 5 Signs You May Have It

How do you know if you have The Swiss Army Knife anointing? Doug Addison says we’ll all have The Swiss Army Knife anointing this season.

What is The Swiss Army Knife anointing? How do you know if you have it? How do you know you have something that isn’t even in the scripture? Below are five signs you may have it.

Lime green and yellow swag.

You may wakeup one morning wearing lime green and yellow hipster swag. The lady above has a real neato-mosquito lime green (Some bright shade of green. Pardon me I’m not an artist.) knit hat. Your Swiss Army Knife anointing ensemble will come with a delightful yellow sweater and green hipster glasses.

Strong desire to be crammed into a drawer.

Maybe if you have a strong desire to be crammed into a drawer, never to be used, then you’ll know you have this anointing? Because I have a Swiss Army Knife, and I never use it, it’s actually crammed into a drawer.

Strong desire to be an unused corkscrew.

Possibly if part of your consciousness feels like a corkscrew that will never be used to open a bottle of wine, then maybe, just maybe then you’ll know you have this anointing? Does anyone really use the corkscrew on a Swiss Army Knife to open a bottle of wine?

You fear being replaced by a discounted knockoff of yourself.

Swiss Army Knives are really pricy, and admit it, you’ve seen the discounted knockoff versions at your local drug store. I also own two of those, that I never use.

You think you’re a three inch saw capable of doing major lumberjack work.

Like the corkscrew, is anyone really going to use the little saw to do major lumberjack work? Probably not.

My absurd list is as absurd as creating an anointing that isn’t even listed in scripture.